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International Men’s Mental Health Week

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This week is international men’s mental health week. A topic close to my heart, largely because I have a son and a husband whom I love more than words can explain, but also because I am female, I have a daughter and I care deeply about all human beings. Statistics tell us that: •70% of suicides are committed by men •Over 80% of violent crimes are committed by men •98.8% of sexual offenders are male On the flip side: •The number 1 cause of death for mothers is suicide •Gender inequality in the work force continues to exist •Sexism and the objectification of woman is alive and well •Women fear for their safety and despite those who say “not all men”, those same people also have a generalised fear for the safety of their wives and children at the hands of men •And in a society where both parents work, unequal labour division continues to occur in the home with regards to domestic tasks, mental load and parenting With my whole heart, I believe that the path to changing these statistics for
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International Woman’s Day 2020

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Late last night I realised that it was international woman’s day and I felt compelled to write. Coincidentally, the day before yesterday I came home from 3 days with a very dear friend to be with her, catch up and help where I could as she is 4 months post partum with her second baby boy. I adore her and miss her and I also saw myself in her. We talked a lot, about the intensity of motherhood, that with the ending of the day shift, the night shift begins and how both are equal in importance. The breastfeeding.. the constant breastfeeding. The needs of the first child. The needs of your relationship. The household. Your own needs always ignored. The feeling (especially when you have very young children) that completing any task/meeting your needs or someone else’s means that another task / meeting yours or someone else’s needs is being ignored (guilt) or promised ASAP (stress).  It is the personal growth, the perspective, the attempts to be patient and give grace, the giving of
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Is it possible to be a lactivist and a feminist?

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Is it possible to be a lactivist and a feminist?  I feel like I am both but I also find myself at times feeling confused and torn between the 2 and how they fit together.. or apart.  To clarify, I am very pro women’s rights re: equal pay, having a career, sexual freedom and safety, breastfeeding, her rights as a working mother etc.  I am also vocal about how difficult it is when as females in this day and age we grow up believing that we can be and do anything we want but that this can cause some of us trials and tribulations when we become a mother and find ourselves getting lost in the roles of mother and “housewife”, the mental load, and no “me time” etc (I could go on). But then I am also pro “natural term weaning”, pro responsive parenting and honouring the intensity of which children need us (day and night) for their first few years. As an individual I believe it is my right to return to my career, and as a mother I believe it is my right and my children’s ri
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“Bring it” - my thoughts on post-postmodern feminism

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For a long time I have thought about writing on this topic. What finally prompted me was that over the new year holiday period, myself and my wee family had the absolute pleasure of experiencing “village life”. You see, I have a 2 and a half year old darling son and 3 and a half weeks ago I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. While on holiday we were staying with family and friends in shacks on a farm up the road from the beach. Older children played with my son, other mothers fed him, other people (including my own parents) helped with my newborn, my husband was able to go fishing, we managed to get to the beach and did walks to the local cafe.. I was fed, I was watered.. I helped with meals and dishes when I could but mostly I was encouraged to rest and spend time with my baby. No-one gave me advice and my instincts were respected... It was perfect ❤️ But more than anything, it made me appreciate my husband so much more because I realised in the absence of a village, how much I
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What I would tell my first time Mum self

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With the upcoming birth of our second child I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.. Writing this was initially meant as a form of therapy for myself, but after I had finished it, I realised it might speak to others.   I had undiagnosed post natal anxiety after the birth of my son.  I put this down to having my gut tell me one thing and society telling me the complete opposite with regards to how I should respond to my frequent feeder and waker.  I had an extremely brief touch with sleep training, which didn't feel right and only made my anxiety worse as it was painful for both me and my baby and I couldn't understand how I would be able to follow my instincts once my baby was "trained" and had times of increased needs. This didn't stop me however, from feeling anxious about following my gut.  I continued to feel anxious that my baby's intense needs were my fault, that at some point I had created a rod for my own back, but I couldn't understand
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